When Being a Bills Fan Becomes Difficult

I used to say being a fan of the Buffalo Bills was like living in a state of perpetual purgatory. I even suggested at one time that we name our ‘Sisterhood’ the Sisters of Perpetual Purgatory. Decades of mediocrity or worse made justifying the investment of time, love and money a dubious question. Now as an elderly fan of the Bills and Sabres, I think about these things a lot more often than I used to. Maybe it’s a common thing for us old folks to be more discriminating about how we spend our time.

We hear all the time we shouldn’t waste our time fretting over things we can’t control. Embracing this concept can be life altering. However, don’t say that statement to anyone who’s been a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan. We’ve been fretting over what needs to be done to fix our beloved Bills for several generations now.

And YES JOSH ALLEN… we ARE all armchair GMs and Head Coaches. We were born into it and it is imprinted in our DNA, as Sean McDermott likes to say.

I was doing okay as this season of despair (again) descended upon us. The first crushing blow when Matt Milano broke his leg didn’t set off a full fledge panic, but it definitely made me think about being in perpetual purgatory for the first time in a long time. By the time we got to Tre White and DaQuan Jones’s injuries, the yellow caution light of despair was flashing like a caution light in the dark.

Fast forward to this point in the NFL season and the flashing lights are now like fireworks in the sky. The Buffalo Bills are 6-6 and everyone and their mother found someone to blame. The ‘firing’ squads are out in full force. First Dorsey, now Sean McDermott.

While there are legitimate beefs to be had with both, firing McDermott before the season ends seems hasty. Why not let the season play out when the question may answer itself anyway? I’m not going to defend Sean McDermott’s job at this point, nor will I ask for his head on a platter. I’ll leave that for all the geniuses who know more than I do about football.

What I do know is there are more serious issues I’m contemplating right now about my fan-hood.

Don’t misconstrue my silence (to date) about the allegations made against Von Miller after his recent arrest for domestic violence. Like many Bills fans, we have to square ourselves around how this situation is being handled by the Buffalo Bills. I’ve had great difficulty dealing with domestic violence issues by NFL players over the years. Somehow I managed to rationalize my “fan-hood in the NFL” with all sorts of ‘reasons’.

The furor would happen with the next guy and after awhile it would die down. And so would my personal conviction. My hypocrisy is becoming increasingly apparent.

When the news was announced about Von Miller’s latest incident, or “non-incident”, it became clear I needed to examine my sense of personal integrity. How, as a woman and psychotherapist for years, would I navigate these treacherous waters? How can I continue to support the NFL when they continue to handle domestic violence issues the way they do (or don’t)? What kind of person am I… if I’m not willing to walk away from a team I’ve loved my whole life?

I wish I had an answer.

Though Brandon Beane’s press conference left me less than encouraged to say the least, I do understand the predicament is aggravated by the Araiza situation… and proceeding with caution is totally appropriate. But make no mistake, Bills fans are not fools and understand Mr. Beane cannot place himself or the team in legal jeopardy by trashing Von Miller after his partner totally recanted her story.

However, many of us also understand how things work in the real world. Click here to find out why victims of domestic violence recant their stories.

Naturally the easiest thing for the NFL and the Buffalo Bills to do is to let entropy take hold. Texas prosecutors will want to touch the Ebola virus before they will want to investigate the “incident” “non-incident”. It is Texas, after all.

But, what about us?

How are we supposed to be true to our personal integrity?

How are we going to put all the information we have together and come up with a conclusion nothing happened when there is a police report that clearly states SOMETHING happened? And how will/should this affect our fan-hood? Can we continue to support an organization that is not proactive in policing “incidents” “non-incidents” and “letting law enforcement to guide the way”.

Obviously, each of us will have to decide for ourselves.

Editor’s babble: I’ve struggled with this issue for years. I realize there are ways of compartmentalizing and it isn’t a binary issue I’m bringing up. That brings little relief because the issue is something very important to me. You can also find me pondering this and other issues on Xwitter @RobynMundyWYO.