Salary Magic Helps Buffalo Bills Pull Off New Tricks

Photo from confidencecoach.org.

We’ll have to cheer even louder for Stefon Diggs and Tre White.  If it doesn’t seem possible, just have fun trying. Somehow, they found a way to help more than with stellar play.  Top athletes can even contribute while wearing street clothes.  The football superheroes’ willingness to emulate their play with deft economic misdirection allows the Buffalo Bills to afford other quality teammates.

The best players in the universe are still getting paid in case anyone fretted enough to start a GoFundMe to help them cover rent.  But they still helped the club without playing.  Legitimate economic maneuvers only feel like salary skulduggery.  The team’s preferred alignments are the 4-3 and paying employees with bonuses.

The only way Diggs gets covered is with his compensation. If you thought secondaries couldn’t find him, wait until you try to locate his cap figure.  The Bills play three-card monte with deals, except the money still appears.

Don’t forget White, as if anyone could.  His March restructuring served as yet another time the icon set the standard.  Everyone’s favorite cornerback ensures the defense isn’t left out of the discussion when it comes to covering payroll.

Why not just make it a bonus from the start?  NFL players may as well make zero dollars in salary and buy groceries out of their bonus budgets.  I’m certain there’s some preposterously circuitous reason clubs are forbidden from doing so that’s as dull as C-SPAN.  Just be sure to take your allowance from this pile and not that one.

General managers take care not to roll their eyes when mentioning the salary cap.  Everyone’s forgotten to pretend the ceiling is intended to help small-market teams, particularly as the team from Buffalo discovers creative ways to pay more fortunes.

Franchises couldn’t just focus how to make their market bigger any more than they could negotiate contracts without a limit.  Treat shrewd dealmaking like a competition in the spirit of the ones on the field.  Even with a league-wide drive for purported equality that’d make Harrison Bergeron blush, Brandon Beane does his best to figure out what talent is worth and pay accordingly.

Photo from Reddit.com and imgflip.com.

Thinking about how to spend the 10 dollars Nana sent you is part of the present.  Fans enjoy imagining how to toss their favorite club’s cash.  Daydreams about which additions are possible would equal Luxembourg’s GDP if all became reality, so it’s best that not every fantasy becomes reality.  But maybe we can get one toy off our list of 873 items.

Having money means you don’t get to spent it, while spending it means you don’t have it.  Don’t ask me how the economy works.  We do know the Bills won’t be using their cushion to splurge on the erstwhile Atlanta wide receiver every Facebook commenter thought Beane should’ve nabbed. There’s still a shot they obtain the disgruntled tight end whose name fills the vacuum.

Adding a big receiving option who’s ostensibly also a blocker would help that passer of theirs thrive even more.  You may have heard rumors that it’ll take a high percentage of a billion dollars to keep Josh Allen as our BFF.  Those who cheer seem far more stressed about his potential extension than he does, perhaps because he makes enough letting us know Labatt is good for sipping to cover his Lloyd budget.  Regardless, the quarterback budget can always be expanded, which makes extra space a relief.

Photo from Labatt USA.

Money stuff takes all the fun out of life.  We can’t have all the dwelling stories and top-shelf spirits we’d like.  And it turns out traveling costs money, which is the single imposing barrier to constant globetrotting.  But giving something for what’s received is the only way to keep both parties motivated.

Those stuck trading currency for goods and services may as well address the exchange properly.  General managers shifting whatever they’d like to call payment is how the league winks at accumulating more talent, so play along and pretend to be earning less than minimum wage.  Tip your linemen.

Deal rearrangement feels like getting hyped about a movie trailer.  Experience two minutes’ worth of a two-hour production to sustain you during dull and empty times.  When it comes to sports contracts, there’s not even a tease of action.  But pecuniary voodoo is like learning a beloved movie franchise will have a massive budget.  Producers promise viewers won’t see the wires.

This sport doesn’t just resemble chess with tackling on the field.  Capturing pieces is a constant contest.  Accumulating queens only sounds like an insult based on connotation.

Most of our lives are spent getting excited for what might happen.  The actual fun part is a sliver on the pie chart as small as the percentage of people who dislike pie.  Take the sport in question: fans even have to wait a week between games while they’re being played.  The offseason feels like a Purgatory preview for anyone who hasn’t been evil but not particularly super, either.  All we can do for now is look forward to things getting cooler in a bit.

Freedom can take the form of having money left the morning after getting paid.  A little financial cushion means opportunity.  Those who plan out spending cash out at their leisure.  It’s better to have extra space going unused than get used to not having extra space.

Becoming better over the summer goes beyond practice.  Improvement doesn’t just involve repetitions in the field house.  If retracing routes incessantly constitutes behind the scenes action, financial relief is even behind that.

Finding ways to pay numerous players who excel at it only seems like cheating to franchises that squandered their payrolls.  Games are won in the front office even if there’s no view of where they’re played.

Editor’s babble: Don’t think I’ve ever seen a better use for the word skulduggery :) Perhaps we should erect a statue of Jim Overdorf for all the magic tricks he does with the salary cap. Thanks, as always, to Anthony Bialy for his unique perspective on all things Bills related. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.

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