Don’t Fire Everyone, Buffalo Bills Fans Novelly Demand

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Grocery shoppers can only accumulate so many pantry goods before the floor is lost to storage space.  Even preppers bracing for an asteroid to knock out the power grid agree the Spam budget shouldn’t expand enough to prevent acquiring a pizza crust to pound for dinner tonight.  Looking ahead is swell until you’re too weak to lift a cast-iron pan.

Neglecting now in favor of an alleged eventual payoff applies to sports, too. For unfortunate franchises, putting off gratification can happen so regularly as to continually ruin right now.  This particular fanbase is particularly accustomed to consoling ourselves with the deluded notion that improvements are just a few trips around the Sun away.  But we’re at last looking forward to the next game, not year.

Doing better than hovering in the hunt counts as short-term splurging for the Buffalo Bills, who have spent much of their history inspiring fans to look forward to the future thanks to how often the present was crummy.

The greatest challenge for those conditioned to be tense is relaxing enough for fun today.  The fear someone will snatch our toys remains.  Keep an eye on your Transformers if you really value them.

Nothing sums up both the historical and contemporary Bills like the odd feeling of wanting the staff to stick around.  The absence of agony may be tough to measure.  We can be certain that it’s nice not cheering for losing so a crummy coach might get canned.  Recanting demands to fire coordinators at the half is a sign everything’s turning out acceptably.  I reserve the right to call for Leslie Frazier’s termination even if I feel bad about it in an hour.

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The incumbent coach has succeeded in a job where almost everyone before him has failed. Sure, Sean McDermott hasn’t quite reached perfection, and not just in the sense of shrugging while noting humans are all flawed.  But intermittent lulls and questionable in-game decisions can’t change the overall tone.  He’s thriving even more by comparison.  Mike Mularkey is purportedly retired. I’m certain it’s by choice.

Arrogance doesn’t necessarily create success, which shocks a certain particularly unpleasant personality type. I wonder if previous employees maintain hope they’ll be hired for the same role.  Imagine Rex Ryan making his agent put a clause in his ESPN contract that would allow him to take another coaching job.  Also, imagine being Rex Ryan’s agent.

Measure a team’s success by how easy it is to find a player whose jersey you’d wear.  Buyers have to make the difficult and happy choice between offense and defense.  Santa should know I have Tre White topping my list.  I’ve been good at coping with bad times.

Fans are cherishing Buffalo’s identity, specifically that they actually have one.  A sense of who they are has been indistinct in many previous eras, as bad results often feature the side effect of blandness.  Like trying to define Phantom Menace characters, the worst Bills editions this century were thankfully easy to forget because their efforts displayed nothing memorable.  Wish luck to anyone trying to define the personality of, say, the regrettable 2010 team.  By comparison, we know who today’s Bills are because they do.

The easiest way to break a curse is by hiring competent employees.  The logically irrational fan looks for patterns of doom where supernatural forces punish us for existing.  But being cheap, inept, or a combination of both does not qualify as having destiny dictated by the cosmos.

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Blaming fate is a lazy substitute for flailing at one’s job.  The Chicago Cubs were bedeviled by the Curse of the Billy Goat.  Oh, and they had awful ownership while playing in the most beloved of ballparks that’s nonetheless conducive to making pitchers sad.  Similarly, the Bills found themselves condemned to suffer by trading up to not draft Khalil Mack.  Cruel supernatural beings make us decide to be stupid.

Drafting well controls kismet.  The past isn’t an anchor.  True professionals don’t feel predestined to collapse thanks to screw-ups made by the fired workers they replaced.  Excuses would ruin today, as well.

Every fan is caught up in a form of entertainment which is bound to provoke at least occasional melancholy. Bills fans acutely know the risks of unscripted drama.  More than half the cases have ended sadly over this franchise’s lifetime.

The certainty of followers saddened by a vanquished party doesn’t happen with other attempts at fun.  I might be disappointed by, say, new Cobra Kai episodes, but how could I end up hating the tale of rival California teens consumed by allegiance to their respective sensei?  It’s not intrinsic that some viewers will dislike fiction’s outcome.  Buffalo fans are more than aware how sports are different.

It’s not to jinx it, but the Bills have been wrapping up storylines more often than they forget to fill plot holes. The feeling of prevailing is apparently named joy.  Experiencing it more often than not is most appreciated by those who’ve gotten to do so the least.

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Even with the worst loss possible in the universe’s history to flavor the bye, Bills backers remain confident overall.  This franchise wouldn’t know how to be arrogant if it tried.  But mild optimism doesn’t have to be a trend for just a few dozen games.

Expecting good times to both vanish instantaneously and never cease only makes sense if you follow sports or participate in life.  Intimately agonizing memories of what it’s like to not win seven times over a season are the best way to remain appreciative.

Editor’s babble: True words. I appreciate this coaching staff and manager after decades of FAIL. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. And thanks to Anthony Bialy for bringing his unique perspective. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.

One Reply to “Don’t Fire Everyone, Buffalo Bills Fans Novelly Demand”

  1. watching the dolphins Bengals IT looks like the Don Shula days are back every call going in dolphins way I would hate to think the games are fixed but i think the games are fixed. sorry buffalo but the the NFL and tv markets don’t want your little city in the playoffs .