Monday Almost Night Football ruined a weekday. The Buffalo Bills seemed like they were worth getting fired to watch just a couple weeks ago. Fans wouldn’t have wanted to toil for any employer who held Zoom calls during a monumental event like a semi-late game. But those with managers who double as jerks lucked out in the end. A poor effort in their own workplace means the Bills are trending toward being worth missing. Is there overtime available, and if not can I sit at my computer until they’re done losing?
Both clubs were 4-1 if it didn’t look like that. Undisciplined play can quickly become the standard in case anyone new here is unaware of existence’s tendency toward heartbreaking chaos. There are only so many exceptions before unfortunate behavior becomes the definition.
Lots of teams get embarrassed by the Chiefs. Not many get trampled by simple running. Nobody expected they’ll head between the tackles. Leslie Frazier sure didn’t.
Everyone antsy for calculus forgot arithmetic. The Bills figured they’d have to either stop the emblematic innovative offense or outshoot them. But Andy Reid’s scheme was to not scheme. He’s zen in a way only someone who has the Sonic Drive-In menu can be. Deception through simplicity meant even Troy Aikman could understand what was happening even if he didn’t know why.
Flashes of greatness reminded everyone who was prevailing. Throw in Patrick Mahomes running through open terrain when he felt like it paired with the existence of Travis Kelce, and Jason Voorhees may as well be wearing Mandalorian armor. The gap was more vast than the score. Buffalo wouldn’t stop an NFC East team with coverage as soft as the tackling.
Kansas City should be honored to serve a benchmark. The prospect of measuring against the new relatively affable version of the Patriots went beyond the game, although they still played. Like an engagement ring abandoned in a car cupholder, the symbol can also have practical consequences. We can’t sell poor results on Craigslist.
Sacrificing bulk for slipperiness has turned out to be a New Coke-style flop. We knew going into the season this defense wouldn’t have Ted Washington blocking out sunlight as a nose tackle. But linemen creating their own opportunities instead of absorbing blockers on behalf of teammates takes shiftiness. Success has been elusive in a way players have not.
Undersized defensive lines are only effective if they can evade getting shoved by larger brutes in the first place. Offenses are easily blocking players they’re not supposed to catch. Speed has been slow to arrive.
A zone defense ensures nobody is covered. Is that right? They may not have accounted for every flaw. I didn’t think I’d need math after school until I saw the Bills take lousy angles. The performance was dreary to the point it appeared defenders were worried about getting uniforms dirty in the rain. But the field’s not real grass and someone else does the laundry.
Reality has been warped for the worse as if Marty McFly didn’t get his parents to dance. Getting shoved around during an early dinner has contributed to the sense life is askew. Didn’t they used to compete on Sundays? That sounds right, but it would mean working on a traditional day off.
We’re used to games on random weeknights while we spend the traditional final day off mowing leaves and raking the lawn. It’s always been this way here on Earth-Seven.
But that’s not the way it happened. Selective memory is making alterations seem normal. Growing accustomed to the spastic lineup helps cope with how distorted games feel. Football is presently too much of a life metaphor. Monday Night Football’s opening act felt weird like being tipsy in a bar before noon. Are you sure it’s the right time for this?
Fans would like a bit of boring rooting. Please bring back competence during a conventional Sunday afternoon outing. It shouldn’t take facing the risible Jets to get on track. There’s far more to lose against the NFL’s punchline franchise than there is to gain with a win that’s supposed to be certain.
Teams are still playing about once per week even if they appear as irregularly as Better Call Saul seasons. Followers shouldn’t merely be pleased with the season occurring at all. Gratitude for existence is reminiscent of bereft years when the previous owner expected us to be appreciative that the team didn’t relocate to Albuquerque. We need more than gratitude for the chance to lose.
Playing Tetris with the schedule hasn’t only thrown off our pizza routines. Other fans think we’re full of it. Mafia members bragged to everyone who doesn’t watch regularly that our favorite squad had truly become indomitable. Doing so didn’t help our reputation for integrity. The Bills have to prove boasts about passing accuracy and defensive resilience weren’t bluster. Winning back trust takes time no matter how much space is between games.
Editor’s babble: Still trying to figure out what the heck the game plan was on both sides of the ball. Oh well, on to the Jets. Thanks, as always, to Anthony Bialy for his acerbic contributions to our blog. Sarcasm seems appropriate these days. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.