Buffalo Bills Bring New Players Together Apart at Draft

Photo of DE A.J. Epenesa and family from theintelligencer.com.

You’re stuck at home just like your favorite team’s general manager.  I’m sure you also have other things in common.  Brandon Beane might be too busy to hang out and discuss hobbies even with the draft over.  But you’ve got your icebreaker if he gets free time.

If Beane is like the rest of us, he already had Buffalo Bills stuff hanging around his dwelling. Appreciating many small weird things helps us cope with one big rotten thing.  Wonders about how the draft would proceed generated almost as much suspense as the choices.

That thoroughly distant first round made me forget Buffalo eventually got to add players, too.  A.J. Epenesa strives to be as memorable as the circumstances under which he joined his new employer.  Feel bad for poor previous draftees who boringly walked on a stage like everyone else.

We had to boo loudly enough for Roger Goodell to hear.  That solemn annual tradition cannot be contained by a venue.  Gary Bettman is going to conduct the NHL draft from a bunker even if disease has been eradicated.  The most important thing to shield is the commissioner’s precious feelings.

Opinions are in while we wait for results.  I wasn’t certain how I thought Tua Tagovailoa would fare as a pro, but now I am sure I hope he sucks.  My lifelong grudge against the Dolphins sustains me no matter the conditions.  Knowing Josh Rosen will have to move again soon forges the schadenfreude that sustains the isolated fan of a rival.  It must be exciting to reside in so many NFL cities.

Photo of QB Josh Rosen from si.com.

Mafia members had to see what the Vikings did with their bonus choice.  Justin Jefferson could have a fine career ahead.  But there’s only speculation as they attempt to replace a receiver they traded to some club.  By contrast, Stefon Diggs has gained 4,623 more yards in the NFL.

The most-watched draft came when the most televisions were on.  Well, that makes sense.  What else would we do: look out the window again to check if the sidewalk’s still there?  Enduring Michael Irvin’s perpetual struggles with English is the price a captive audience pays.

Everyone watched in part because fans wanted to see the presentation.  Wondering just how Geraldo Rivera planned to open Al Capone’s vault was as fun as his mortification at finding nothing.  Teams might actually uncover treasure.  Or New England’s questionable fifth-round kicker might turn out to be the opposite of their departed sixth-round quarterback.

Based on what they had compared to what they have, the Bills feel like they improved.  Of course, so does everyone else.  Goodell’s claim that every team gets better at the draft implies 32 front offices know what they’re doing.  You’d think someone with his job would be aware of the Browns.

Meme from Imgflip.com.

Balancing need and value is like guessing the actual retail price without going over. The price is right for what Buffalo obtained.  Even those without a rooting interest might make the claim that just about every Bills draftee could’ve been grabbed earlier. Time seems to be moving at a historically sluggish pace, which this franchise patiently used to its advantage.

Why not be hopeful?  It’s not like there’s anything else to do unless Netflix has another exotic animal documentary to unleash.  Wondering how often Zack Moss will smash his way to the end zone beats talking to family.

Pod confinement is a particularly crucial time for thinking life will improve.  The draft is all about making a case there are brighter moments ahead even if there’s not precisely presently precedent.

Bills fans now have seven names of new guys who’ll ideally receive their cheers.  This is a week for poring over the experience new workers received during an athletic extracurricular while getting educated.

Meme from Memedroid.com.

Take a moment right now to dream about the future, even if it’s to do something than again verifying there are 11 steps to the cabinet with the Pringles.  Everyone can make a case.  Even the Packers could think they’ve improved.  They’re free to ignore anyone who dissents.  Brian Gutekunst found a DVD of Earnest Saves Christmas at Walmart and hid it so nobody else bought it first.

The appeal of looking ahead is particularly evident while barricaded from zombies.  People rely on memories and anticipations when there isn’t much to enjoy in the moment.  But you can still be interesting in a cell.

The Bills created genuine reasons to get enthusiastic without getting a Las Vegas trip out of it.  Surely, we can entertain ourselves even if we have chalk and puzzles instead of a sports league.  If you’re truly ambitious, start your own. There’s an untapped market for a moped polo association.  What’s the worst those you draft can do: say no?

Editor’s babble: This was one weird virtual draft during one weird time. Hoping you are all well and staying safe. Thanks, as always, to Anthony Bialy for providing some chuckles. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.