This would be a good time to check on that thing over which we have zero control. Adherents of the Buffalo Bills are concerned about how well admired strangers will do at moving a football or halting those who try.
Sports help us grow accustomed to that helpless feeling that dominates much of our days. Putting faith in something over which we have zero control is how things go most of the time with everything.
It’s not like we have much choice about our lack of power short of renouncing allegiance to teams like a deranged person. So, fans may as well believe without evidence.
Our concern for the health of strangers is downright magnanimous, except for the ulterior motive part where we need our favorite squad’s workers whole and perky so they can shove enemy players. Bills fans haven’t been able to enjoy summer while worrying about the state of Mitch Morse’s head.
Sure, concerned humans want the offensive line’s prized acquisition to have a clear mind. But those nervously counting how many practices he’s missed are also deeply invested in him being healthy enough to do his job, as Buffalo had a center in name only last season.
Counting down the days until games is like waiting for the next Stranger Things season minus assurances they’ll be able to vanquish mysterious evil. Summit Park Mall patrons figured our fortunes would’ve changed since 1985. Football characters invent their own twists. The franchise’s showrunner wants to avoid having the plot imposed, as happens when players are unable to take direction.
If anyone wants to live up to potential, now’s the time. Both those the Bills pay and dedicated volunteers wonder whether, say, Zay Jones can make his presence felt consistently positive. The easy way to make wisecracks about drops stop is to hold every football.
Caring about the well-being and proficiency of strangers is just part of our magnanimity. For now, cheer for the best options to keep their jobs.
Even the coldest football observers don’t want people to be unemployed. Unofficial advisers to the general manager are merely concerned with the business running smoothly.
News of firings only prompt joy for the team’s sake. There’s nothing personal against Vlad Ducasse aside from how he couldn’t push a shopping cart out of the way. The erstwhile Bill might be stuck in the child’s seat right now. But there’s no time to check on him, as we’re counting down the minutes until his replacement competently pulls.
Humans can be sad about potential job loss even if it betters the Bills. Watching T.J. Yeldon potentially fumble away a roster spot during the first preseason game wasn’t just aggravating for those who wanted a pretend game’s drive to end in a meaningless score. Has he overcome what could have been a defining moment? Deep down, we may have been crushed for him as a person despite our anger at his inability to maintain grip.
As with that ’50s SiriusXM station that plays Buddy Holly followed by Neil Sedaka, be prepared for maddening inconsistency from Josh Allen. If the third preseason outing is supposed to preview real games, we’re going to need as much patience as usual.
Even the most positive Bills social media posts highlighting Allen’s progress can’t remove understandable concerns. This is the longest possible wait to see how someone performs during two-second drops.
Rehearsals can’t reproduce game stress. The good news is that many Bills have spent preseason flaunting how they’ve played American football before, with Christian Wade delightfully joining in. He’ll excel even more when he remembers he doesn’t have to score in the middle of the end zone to help his kicker like in that last sport he played.
We’re guessing based on scant evidence. Then again, there won’t be an abundance during the season. Melodramatic football only permits a limited quantity of attempts, unlike baseball where each season lasts 19 years and features an average of 28,437 at-bats.
The rarity of games makes it easy to highlight the importance of each. Those little bits of action they show between commercials are not the time to replace a consumed Bison Dip container.
We spend months speculating how a handful of snaps will affect our outlook on life. Somehow, we’re permitted to roam the streets unsupervised.
Nobody should let following a sport impact the rest of the week. But that’s like asking the Sun not to set. Yelling at the horizon is as effective as cussing at the television over a turnover.
Convincing ourselves this is not a time for dread is an annual tradition like Mighty Taco switching from pulled pork to chili. We can only hope we’ll still be there when a winning team comes back someday.
The process’s third year involves trying to remove that Buffalo-style sense that every incredible dream we have is about to be crushed by a giggling Satan. Recast yourself as someone who seizes control. Others will think you’re confident if you believe it first.
The Bills don’t have to remain perpetually depressed just because life aims so many crotch kicks at the franchise. They’ve adhered to their own scripting of destiny.
We’re on the brink of seeing if a plan comes together. Life could work well this time. That’s not illegal just because it seems so.
Editor’s babble: Does Lucy pull the football away from Charlie Brown again this season? Questions, questions. Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.