The Buffalo Bills didn’t add John Brown to rush the quarterback. As a team player, the ostensible wideout might be willing to give it a try. I guess it would be surprising. Like a Drew Bledsoe bootleg, some ideas are so novel that you don’t even plan for them.
It’s much easier to waste talent than maximize it if you’ve been feeling too optimistic. Using players properly is a deceptively easy skill that can earn fortunes for those capable. NFL observers call it “coaching.”
Joining the lucky half of teams who score more points isn’t just a matter of putting the 11 best athletes on the field. Fine competitors have to be placed in literal position to thrive if we don’t want another cruel life lesson on how frequently talent gets squandered. My G.I. Joe guys won’t fit in my Millennium Falcon because I’m not cramming hard enough.
The coaching staff will getting their biggest rookie prize off to a good start by letting him face nothing. Ed Oliver had a blast in college doing a slightly different job than he’ll perform while getting paid. The college nose tackle slides just one over yet a world away.
Oliver’s auspicious performance at school was especially impressive from a stance designed to hold up blockers for others. The first-round prize created tremendous chaos to the point where you wonder what Houston was thinking. Did they not know players can change positions? There’s no rule against it, even during college. Making him face a center is like taking in-game swings with a weighted bat, only for a slightly different sport.
Wait: he can crouch across from nothing?! There’s no rule that Oliver has to face someone before the snap. A flag for not making eye contact is something I just made up. Getting to line up across a space instead of a player might seem like an unfair advantage from the offense’s perspective, so exploit the loophole before playing defense is officially made illegal.
The Mafia anticipates that the thrilling rookie will leave behind a guard and tackle. Both will ideally be too confused to know if they should be the ones tasked with attempting to block. Up until now, Oliver has been a chef bussing tables. Imagine the culinary delights once he’s free to cook dinner. The employee will be happier as his talents are properly utilized.
One more guy up front makes a huge difference in how all 11 play. Going with 4-3 personnel isn’t just for spite. Still, reverting from that unfortunate inversion under professional boaster Rex Ryan feels satisfying for reasons beyond ticking off a shrinking buffoon.
The present ESPN loudmouth was renowned for using employees for the wrong jobs, a situation which also applied to his tenure as coach. A coach who succeeded at everything but getting good results did his best to impose the metric system. Everyone knows American measurements are infinitely preferable to commie ones. Players struggled to convert to deciliters as they conceded massive yards.
Free-range coaching is the humane way to treat players instead of cooping them up. A cowboy soul like Matt Milano should be allowed to roam. He’ll be happiest when he can hunt prey without worrying about where the fence is. The appropriateness of a particular scheme is why de facto defensive end Reggie Ragland never played a down for Buffalo. Did he at least enjoy curling at Canalside?
A talented player should theoretically be able to succeed under any system. But the actuality involves presuming a Ferrari is the best car for a Buffalo winter because it’s the most expensive. Those wheels just don’t look right with snow chains. This is a Subaru sort of town.
Trying to get talent on the field in any way is the most obvious goal of any coach. The best athlete tends to play quarterback in high school even if he’s not the purest passer. Skill level disparity narrows in the pros to the point where it’s a struggle to perceive unless you’re playing the 49ers.
It’s great to be able to tackle but unhelpful to do so in the parking lot. The ability to act viciously when necessary comes down to deploying talent properly. For once, the Bills seem to have coaches who know to tell players they’re supposed to face the ball.
Even better, this staff might know where to stand players. All we want is offense based on power blocking and letting Josh Allen get air under the ball. Meanwhile, defensive linemen theoretically create chaos for their seven pals to gleefully exploit. Coaches using what management provides is our wildest dream. Just please position yourselves to high-five at game’s end.
Editor’s babble: The “shrinking buffoon”… almost lost a sip of coffee on that one (again). Thanks, as always, to Anthony Bialy for his entertaining contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.