Tennessee Can’t Cheat Itself out of Donations from Bills Mafia

Photo from nashvillechildrensalliance.org.

Buffalonians mow your lawn when you’re not home.  Bitterness is the natural result of getting ripped off.  But those who resist reflexes use the motivation of unjust results to make the world better. Look out for pranksters who surprise those in the philanthropy business with full treasure chests.

No Bills fans knew what the Nashville Children’s Alliance was in March.  This month, they’re helping victims of abuse by sending donations four states away. Barstool Sports will not be making a lame documentary about charity coffers stuffed with thousands of dollars, but I’m sure they’ll find other content that’s up to their typical hilarious standards.

Vote for Tennessee to start behaving.  I was sort-of joking about them cheating to win in the Fox Sports Twitter account’s best fanbase tournament, and they humorlessly took it seriously.  Disregarding rules is apparently in their DNA.  Their contempt for rules and decency would be bad enough were it not enabled by alleged officials.

The felonious club got away with it again, which is another swell life lesson in a universe packed with unpunished offenses.  I’ve watched the Titans while loathing them and sometimes don’t even think of why, so I appreciate the reminder.  Football is fun with a rooting interest, and it’s nice to hope the home of football larceny has victories stolen from them indefinitely.

Photo from FOXsports.com

Nashville sold their souls for the Pro Bowl.  This wholly meaningless online contest was the one they simply had to win?  Titans fans committed malfeasance for the lamest reason imaginable.  A Twitter poll is as useful as a web award, which those who patiently browsed through the dialup era remember on the bottom of every page in a pitiful effort to establish legitimacy.  No club should need this.  I’m still laughing that they lost in the finals to the Browns. Also, thank you to the Rams for winning that Super Bowl for karma’s sake.

Gathering more votes in a tweet is not legally binding, at least not yet.  Making your voice sort-of heard is a natural instinct.  Sure, I clicked on the Bills’ circle as quickly as the poll crossed my feed.  But, like watching another Friends episode on Netflix, I forgot it as soon as I experienced it.  Refocusing the energy of getting swindled made what should’ve been a fun little tournament memorable for the best reason.

Let’s get ’em!  Put money in their pockets!  The Bills Mafia is organized to attack with a conscience.  Setting a charity bomb is the kindest sort of vengeance.  We have discovered yet another way to help, as this football social club shows it is 4chan for altruism instead of chaotic mischief.

Photo from annaflag.com.

Responsibility accompanies power.  The Bills have the Spider-Man of fanbases.  We don’t even need extraordinary abilities in order to aid those in need.  You can allow radioactive arachnids to bite you to see if it enables wall-climbing.  If comic books are fictional despite my presumptions, you can be swell without taking such risks by clicking “donate.” Helping those who could use a hand is truly superhuman behavior.

Rigging may have been clever ploy to get donations.  I certainly hope the glory of dominating the social media dojo was not Nashville’s chief motivation.  Nah: as with Geno Smith throwing interceptions to lull defenses into a false sense of security, the simplest answer is the correct one.

Photo from sportschannel8.com.

There may be no sadder life than one that includes rigging an online poll.  The result influences nothing outside the cesspool of misery that is Twitter.  Cheating at an online vote wasn’t even to make a politician they like seem popular to influence a real vote: it’s pathological behavior from a city presumably infested with pickpockets.  Those who manipulated results with the smallest stakes possible have to live with it, which sounds like a loss.

Wrong us and beware of support.  Bills backers are on the lookout for the next charity opportunity.  Those in need better watch out.  Mafia members will buy 26 Shirts while on watch for other charitable pursuits.  Seeking out anyone who could use a hand is second nature if you look at life without grudges.

It seems the Titans aren’t going to admit wrongdoing.  Multiple violations across platforms indicates a pattern.  Perhaps the fans of amorality will be filled with shame for their appalling disregard for rules in another two decades.  They live with the guilt of knowing their franchise is defined by cheating.  If Tennessee doesn’t feel bad enough to alter their shady ways by now, it’ll never happen.  By contrast, those wronged responded by improving the defrauders’ hometown.

Stewing about others prospering from larceny is as natural as it is pointless.  True victimhood follows from allowing thieves to take your spirit, as well.  Forget the hope of anything approaching justice, as there’s no more obvious maxim than noting life is unfair.  The real question is how to reply to it.  The chance for graciousness provided by reacting to shady behavior is a result that can be controlled in the best way.  If you’re not learning healthy ways to cope with lousy outcomes, why be a Bills fan?

Editor’s babble: Wow – another terrific column by Anthony Bialy. You’re the best, Anthony. You make us giggle and make your point at the same time, a rare skill. We are grateful for your contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on the “cesspool” that is Twitter @AnthonyBialy.

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.