Most consolation games aren’t that fierce. There were no prizes available like the home version as the Buffalo Bills and junior New Jersey club showed contempt is unrelated to record. Imagine how fun this cranky rivalry would feel if either team was able to be regularly competitive against anyone else. But maybe the resentment is what makes it fierce. Still, that’s no excuse to remain irrelevant.
Getting caught up in a battle for pride is the price of having emotions. Human tendencies can grow wearying. With two minutes left in a game a more mature group would have put away, Bills fans had forgotten about the battle for draft status. Divisional enmity brings meaning where there was none. Life has a point as long as you dislike those you face during it.
Josh Allen vies with Saquon Barkley to be the best running back from the 2018 draft. Rumor holds he’s also a fine passer, as seen in glimpses. I knew he would occasionally make regrettable throws, but I hoped the worst example wouldn’t come on the game’s final attempt.
Allen is learning the difference between good and bad insane risks. We hope. There are bound to be fewer throws targeting phantom Bills as he learns to only compete on this corporeal plane. Trying to land a football in a bucket 100 feet away will always be part of his playing personality. But check the jersey color of whoever’s holding it.
A quarterback and receiver had rushing touchdowns in a game with no passing ones if you needed a way to sum up this year’s Bills. Isaiah McKenzie is helping every way he can, while Robert Foster’s emergence has moved from a good story to legitimate threat. Still, wear shoulder pads to the next game and you may be named the newest wideout.
Even the most exciting part is already fading. Dashing Allen is unsustainable as a threat for both practical and safety reasons, so enjoy a treat as rare as new Stranger Things seasons.
Allen has to focus on delivering from the pocket first. Also, ice cream should burn calories. Like the Coy and Vance Dukes of Hazzard episodes, there just isn’t the star power to make it interesting. If being an offensive coordinator sounds fun, imagine the future Hall of Fame running back being out during his toughest season while top blockers and catchers aren’t arriving until next year.
This team does what they can without the resources to do much of anything. Attempting to persevere through a lean era is its most notable tradition. The Bills are like pre-iPhone Apple just trying to get by until innovations come to fruition. Stockholders are hoping for a great idea to save the company. There’s the potential for dreams to come true even if they don’t seem likely right that second, I noted as I type on a MacBook.
Spend a wasted season learning. The Dave Attell joke that there aren’t many chain-smoking farmers yelling at crops to grow applies to the planted Bills. It was always going to take time to sprout. Writing off a growing rookie who’s played in nine games is like breaking up now with the person you know buys thoughtful Christmas presents.
Life was happier for that hour when it seemed like another AFC East team wasted a high pick on their intended dreamboat quarterback. We didn’t need to see Sam Darnold improve within a game. Our new enemy went from playing like we’d be giggling at him for three years to dreading coping with him for a decade.
Why doesn’t karma do as I wish? The Jets are bad, but at least they’re dirty. I’m glad they strive to not create sympathy.
Brace for another game with no playoff implications. Bless schedule makers for not adding stress to the holiday season.
Buffalo is on to facing fellow historically exasperated franchise Detroit, whose quarterback sets a good example as management does not.
Matthew Stafford had an arm so powerful that he struggled with accuracy. Why learn touch when you can just heave? His ability to play with subtlety offers an optimistic projection for Allen, although the younger quarterback will likely not need a decade to rush for a thousand yards. Oh, and don’t get ahead of yourself, as presuming something that sounds fun will turn out nicely leads to being excited about the Transformers Bumblebee movie.
The Bills might not want to emulate everything about the Lions, as they’re another club renowned for sad-looking costumed fans during second-half crowd shots. Our preferred side must remember to add decent blockers and weapons unless the pain endured this season was something you’d want to repeat, sicko.
Detroit didn’t learn anything from wasting Barry Sanders’s career, as their top weapon’s been firing alone. That doesn’t mean the Bills are going to outshoot them. In fact, recent history suggests there are many curious decisions to get out of their system. Choosing to be bad isn’t as fun as it sounds.
Editor’s babble: Interesting how two teams with such similar histories (Lions and Bills) meet so infrequently due to playing in different conferences. A shame, really. Thanks as always to Anthony Bialy for his illuminating and humorous contributions to our blog. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy.