Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch

Photo of WR Austin Proehl from buffalobills.com.

There’s good news if Josh Allen liked proving he can throw without anyone catching.  His biggest excuse at Wyoming also applies to his pro-squad.  When it comes to receivers, the Buffalo Bills would like to point out how good their cornerbacks are.

The club should look into cyborg quarterbacks who throw it really, really well so it’s impossible to drop.  Are they invented yet?

Fretting about who will reel it in offers a break from wondering if Allen could conceivably start.  Any quarterback is going to have to get creative in order to find open targets.  The starter may have grounds to gripe that he didn’t get enough help.  Not indulging will be a test of professionalism.

There aren’t many players to ponder.  Meeting the Bills wide receivers won’t take much of your time. It’s easy to fit all players in the group with significant experience in a tweet along with their colleges, hometowns, and hobbies with room for a hashtag.  A lack of names to memorize isn’t a virtue.

The draft is over in case there’s uncertainty.  Anyone hoping they might still add more rookies to catch can give up now.  Management waited until the 187th pick to address a need that’s as obvious as Russ Brandon’s contempt for respect.  The Bills performed triage and determined some positions needed treatment even more urgently.

Photo of WR Jordan Matthews from buffalonews.com.

This may be a crummy time to remember that Jordan Matthews is gone.  John Paul I had a bigger impact as pope.  I’d wish Matthews well in his next phase except for how much I loathe his guts now.  It’s hard to get excited for him bouncing back considering he’s joined forces with Thanos in Massachusetts.  Brace for his breakout season like the other former Bills who traded souls for the privilege.

At least this franchise still has that other receiver who made a splash before injuries made him disappear like Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Kelvin Benjamin gets another shot at hits after last year’s quasi-start.  He’s in luck if he wants to prove he can be the primary threat, as his team has a vacancy.

The other options have the capacity to surprise if you’d like to be positive.  Jeremy Kerley has to overcome a suspension and lack of use last year.  Richie Incognito’s team has shown itself to be cool with providing second changes, so new hires should respect the precedent.

I wish for fewer reminders about how there’s more than football, and not just because I don’t want to believe it.  It’s still more important for Zay Jones to get his life back together.  Life should never be defined by a TMZ video.

Outside options to improve are weighed down by asterisks.  Any product sitting on the shelf this long has probably expired.  On that note, there’s a reason why someone with Dez Bryant’s talent remains unsigned.  The pretty players are always crazy.

Photo of WR Dez Bryant from NBCSports.com.

Anyone still seeking a team is bound to be free of issues, right?  Wondering why someone like Bryant has enjoyed unscheduled free agency this long is like trying to figure out why Guns N’ Roses didn’t make more albums, then remembering how Axl acts.

Adding wideouts is like Mad Libs: fill in the blank with any released player. The most appealing of any receiver right now is that he’s released.  June 1 will be like a thrifting trip for a team desperate for vintage bargains.

Why can’t the Bills sign anyone from any team?  Stupid contracts are too permanent in this Snapchat era.  They’ve had to spend finite resources on more pressing concerns.

It’s better to draft a quarterback now and hope he can work with whoever’s available than expect Sammy Watkins to catch your dreams.  The lack of thrilling possibilities for the group is one more reason to give Allen a year to learn to throw off his front foot.

The franchise tried improving at the pass’s source for a change of pace.  Unexceptional quarterback play has coincidentally been the standard for as long as they’ve gone without a playoff win.  A chef can only cook something so tasty with potted meat.

Maybe a Craigslist ad would fill wideout openings.  The position feels like a video game with unsaved slots.  Everyone’s naturally hoping to get Allen a full complement of receivers.  It just may take as long as it does to improve his reads.  But last season’s miraculous wild card encounter should’ve taught us to not write off anything.

It’s time to stop being scared of the future.  The Bills are trying to move past using phones with wires.  They can stop fretting about long distance.  It’s time to get modern and realize you can connect through space, in their case by throwing the ball.  The 21st century is going to be fun whenever it starts.

Editor’s babble: The Bills offense is such a mystery. New OC, new QB, new scheme, new OL, questionable receivers. How can anyone make any assumptions about how the offense will fare at this point? Thanks to Anthony Bialy for his unique way to bring us all a good laugh along with a dose of reality. You can find Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy. 

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.

9 Replies to “Buffalo Bills Looking for a Catch”

  1. Thanks Anthony….

    Myself I worry more about the LB unit the the wide-outs… Benjamin if he stays healthy can still be a force, Zay should be better this year after the rookie jitters, Kerley is a ? mark, I do think Brandon Reilly can be productive if given the chance and we still have Clay, O’Leary and Thomas at the TE position… Maybe the screen pass will be part of the game plan this year and Shady is a mismatch for any LB or safety.

  2. Goose,

    If Edmunds turns out to be even close to the player that he is being touted as, I think between him and Milano, the Bills will have two good LB’s for years to come. I’m hoping the Bills will draft a replacement for Alexander next year, as he’s like Kyle Williams, still productive, but nearing the end of his career. It seems the Bills focused heavily on revamping the defense, and only dabbed a little on offense. I’m glad the Bills drafted a QB high, but was not happy with their choice. If Benjamin can stay healthy, then the Bills have a legitimate #1 WR. The rest behind Benjamin are question marks. With the additions/subtractions on that group, I still see the WR group being the same as last year, difference is the person throwing to them. Can McCarron throw for more than 150-200 yards per game and score more than three points (something Tyrod did four times last year)? If so, then the offense should perform better this year than it did last year (assuming Daboll is a better OC than his predecessor).

  3. I don’t know if anyone else has seen the video clips of “The Roast of Fred Jackson,” I just watched some of them on youtube and they’re hysterical. The best roaster was Ryan Fitzpatrick, followed by Fred’s twin brother. Just a heads up, it’s vulgar and not family friendly, for anyone that doesn’t like that type of comedy.

  4. I had looked for video of the FJ roast a few months back, but at that point there wasn’t any available. I’ll have to swing back around and take another look.

  5. Thanks Steve–I’ll look for the roast…

    The Bills really went after players for the D-line along with signing Lotulelei, they signed Murphy, Odighizuwa,Fede, Lewis and drafted Phillips so they are gearing up to stop the run and provide a better pass rush..

    I think there is another FA period after June 1st

    This is pretty funny:

    Brandon Beane–Let it Be Parody by Joe Mombrey.


    • You’re welcome. I like Fitz’s impersonations of Eric Wood and Fred Jackson, as well as what he said about Doug Whaley.

  6. I’m not worried about the receivers. They’re role players. Teams can always find role players.

    Look at the Eagles. No one has accused Alshon Jeffries of being a Hall of Famer.

    Yes, there are some stud receivers around the league, buys who can catch all kinds of balls. Guess what? The Bills have one. His name is Benjamin. Few teams have two of those guys.

    Receiving is about having decent size, decent speed, good hands, guts, and working hard. If the offense has a good scheme and it’s well taught, and if you have a QB who understands the scheme and can execute, you can always find receivers. Look at the Patriots.

    The days when receivers would throw three fakes and leave the corner back twirling in circles looking for his jock are gone. Receivers get open by running their routes well and by the defense moving response to multiple receivers in the pattern threatening different zones. They get open by doing their job, not by being spectacular individual talents. It’s nice to have one of those talents, and the Bills have Benjamin, but it isn’t essential.

    If the Bills have a quarterback who can play, the receiving corps will be fine.