Despair Frozen As Buffalo Bills Keep Hopes Warm

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I’d like to point out it didn’t snow much in the Northtowns.  Those who live on the river could’ve named individual snowflakes as Orchard Park faced an Ice Age.  Try explaining to national viewers why being adjacent to a lake is different.  It can’t compete with a snow globe spectacle.  And forget emphasizing how pleasant summers are by Canalside.  No matter what, LeSean McCoy should never have to shovel again.

Football on Hoth had a better result for the home base’s defenders than an evacuation.  You don’t need to see the fake grass to enjoy the game.  December’s time outs are hot chocolate breaks.

Camouflage ultimately didn’t help the Indianapolis Colts, even if the home ice team’s third-string quarterback failed to see the guy in white.  Ensuing softness is the best case against replacing New Era Field with a dome.  Anybody bold enough to have attended is going to remember losing feeling in extremities fondly.  Who knows better than Buffalo Bills fans that suffering builds character?

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Watching the snowpocalypse game in a place with a roof and thermostat meant missing the fun of building snowmen.  The one thing that’s more enjoyable than playing on a snow day is a win, so thank Deonte Thompson for making the day with the year’s best adjustment during its worst circumstances.

A game where rushing was the default setting passed by quickly enough that I checked if the clock ran during commercials.  The affair naturally went past 60 minutes.  The toughest play was getting the overtime coin toss to land flat.  One touchdown should’ve been worth the equivalent of a hundred points.  It took extra time to uncover a second treasure in the frozen dust.

This is no time to excuse the staff for letting their set freeze off.  That horrid overtime fourth down giveaway sums up everything fans loathe about this club.  Why we should trust any process that involves a ridiculous punt?  Sometimes, fans moan after a win for good reason.

Coaches usually lose by not playing to win.  I’m glad this was an exception, as the timid call would’ve stuck with us until September.  Sean McDermott can pretend all he wants he thought his team would suddenly make huge gains.  And I can claim I order wings for the nutritious celery.

Football is a four-season sport, players tell themselves as their shoelaces freeze.  Game checks should warm the souls of poor souls competing through frostbite.  Thriving is arduous while coping with harsh circumstances.  Kickers got paid to roast marshmallows on the sidelines.

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Performing competently when you just want to be inside is a triumph of its own.  It turns out Nathan Peterman probably isn’t the worst player to ever touch a football.  Now, he just has to remember he’s an NFL quarterback and thus allowed to slide.

Who’d like to stay warm by running around with the ball?  Joe Webb did the best he could considering he may have taken more snaps during the game than at practice.  Contributing what he could in the face of fierce elements is the mark of a true Buffalonian.  Welcome home, Joe.

A kind universe would reserve some falling frozen misery for the Miami Dolphins.  This Sunday’s host is already recruiting more free agent shovelers, which is an auspicious sign.  Nasty elements would help reignite a nastier rivalry.  You just know South Florida’s team dreads a field position game where the ball could be resting five yards from anywhere.  I’m convinced there were about 40 flags nobody saw.

It’s hard to spot in the whiteout, but the Bills fueled their playoff hopes.  This is more exciting than a transitional year should be.  This franchise has been spending paychecks by Saturday morning while investing in a retirement account.  Funds haven’t run out yet.

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Fans are still unsure if this is an abandoned season.  Any team that has Shady still possesses a chance to break a most improbable streak.

The meltdown remains postponed.  We spend another week waiting to learn if unlikely success can finally outlast expected devastation.  It’s the usual blast.  But prevailing despite it all reminds us why we started following in the first place.  Do you mean things could turn out well?

How are these wasteland nomads still in the hunt?  The postseason remains a possibility despite a season packed with trials.  Likewise, attendees who never thought they’d feel warm again have returned to comfort.

Sure, there are three games left where this could still crash like Rob Johnson’s career.  Cratering just in time for Christmas is a tradition for the Bills clan.  Your biological family thinks you’re furious at them when it’s only partly so.  But there’s always that one miracle year where everyone gets along.

Details make vague concepts intriguing.  Bring to mind the typical scenario of asking yourself last August if a 7-6 scenario would’ve been acceptable.  Most of us would’ve been excited.  I humbly suggest the Pegulas invest in time travel to confirm.  At the same time, those innocent versions of us are removed from the stress of uncertainty.  But the youngsters haven’t gotten to savor that Richie Incognito block, either.

We may as well use challenges to our advantage.  I admire our beloved Bills from boring warm Southern cities staying warm with enthusiasm.  Some transplants just learned that snowflakes can be painful in numbers.  Remember that the visitors know directly and acutely how low the temperature is, too.

Treat pain as exhilaration to make the Dolphins feel frigid in more ways than one.  If reveling in Yeti weather seems deranged, then you finally get what it’s like supporting this team.

Editor’s babble: Thanks to Anthony as always for his never-failing ability to make us laugh with his contributions to our blog. You can follow Anthony on Twitter @AnthonyBialy. 

About Anthony Bialy

Anthony Bialy recently moved back to Buffalo from New York City and acts like he never left. He thinks "Buffalo 66" is biographical and considers it a crime against mankind that Steve Tasker is not in the Hall of Fame. He likes getting Tim Hortons on the way to get Labatt Blue. Follow him on Twitter at @AnthonyBialy.